Derision
by BlUeFIAmE
Summary: Cloud is popular, has good grades, is athletic, and has too many friends. The teachers all love him, the entire male student body wants to be him, while the girls fawn over him. He is flawless... Right? AU. Self-discovery-ish story.


**Chapter 1: Prologue**

**A/N: **Really vague beginning and I definitely shouldn't have put this up till I got a little further along, but I couldn't help it :D

I seldom write from the first-person POV, so any feedback would be much appreciated (I'm obviously not fishing for reviews here... Okay. Who am I kidding. R&R PLEASE. I have no shame, I know). An update could come any time in between 2 days or 3 months. After that things should be a little more regular. I've also only got a vague idea for the plot right now. I want to sit down and plan things out but there always seems to be something else which suddenly becomes more interesting/important. I'll get down to it eventually. Maybe tomorrow... Or perhaps the next day instead... Anyway, enjoy ya?

**Disclaimer:** I don't think I need one cause there isn't really anything in this chapter which is possible to own. Just in case, I don't own the usual stuff~

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Everybody has a dream. Be it man, child, rich, poor, black or white, they all have a dream. Each and every one of them. But most of us fail to ever reach our dreams.

Some of us are too scared to take the leap.

It's impossible. You don't have the ability. You're not smart enough. You're not talented enough. You will _never_ make it. These dark thoughts whisper to us, and slowly eat away at whatever hope we once had. So we give in. We give up. You could say most people fall under this category.

Then there are those few brave souls, those so passionate, that they fight on, they press on, even with all these insecurities plaguing their minds. Even with everyone around them telling them to give in. To give up. They refuse to crumble.

But then they fall.

And they fall hard. After all the pressure finally wears them thin, they break. And they are angry of course. How is this fair, they ask. Why were they forsaken, they ask. How could they have been born into such a cruel world, to show them the brilliance of which is life, but only to take away their ultimate happiness?

Fools I answer.

Is there anyone to blame other than yourself? You say you gave it your all, but was your all enough? Well, I'd take a stab in the dark and say no to both. I know I sound harsh, and some might actually call me cruel, but 'tis the truth, is it not?

Finally, there are those, those few of us who actually manage to see past all our flaws and make it. Those few of us who actually put in so much of ourselves, we achieve our dream. And when that dream comes to fruition, when all that sweat, toil, and hours of effort become actual substance, we witness something beautiful. Something so profound and heart-wrenching, it brings tears to our eyes. And pride will fill every inch of our being, an immense joy radiating from within.

But only for that moment.

We then continue to live our lives in false contentment, happy to have finally achieved our life-long goals. We grin at the thought of finally taking a break, travel the world a little, meet some people maybe. Gradually though, once our confident grins began to fade, we began to realise. Realise that we are missing something from our lives. That the very sense of purpose and drive which once filled us is now absent from our lives. That the feeling of waking up every morning with the knowledge of the progress about to be made, is now gone. And when it finally hits you, when the whole truth finally dawns upon you, it's a shock few people can ever recover from. Some, start the whole vicious cycle again, going through it over and over. Then there are those, who slowly break on the inside, the pain unceasingly eating away at their miserable existence. In the worst case however, the person's soul completely shatters, and nothing matters to him anymore. On the exterior, the person could seem completely fine, but on the inside, is where the real damage has been done. Upon closer inspection, one would find the spirit, the soul, a complete and utter mess, mangled beyond repair.

Dreams are worthless, and no matter what road you go down, it will end in flames. The only difference is _when_ you hit that dead-end of despair. Reaching it is already a given.

I had a dream once though. It was because _he_ encouraged me to dream. To pursue each and every one of my interests. Obviously, I've stopped. I know now that all that was just bullshit though. Life isn't a fairy-tale and not everyone gets a happy ending. Save yourself the pain and live life with no expectations. It's easier that way.

I guess I have to correct myself now. Everyone has _had _a dream. Not everyone however _has _a dream.


End file.
